better luck next time, 2008

best songs....
m83 - kim & jessie
black rebel motorcycle club - weapon of choice
cat power - metal heart (redone for jukebox)
department of eagles - phantom other
lil wayne - mr. carter ft. jay-z

best albums....
atlas sound - let the blind lead those who can see but cannot feel
department of eagles - in ear park
nick cave & the bad seeds - dig lazarus dig!!!
karl hector & the malcouns - sahara swing

best movies....
the black knight, pretty much by default. i can't even remember seeing anything worthwhile this year.

resolutions....
listen to more music
read more books
not lose my shit once the cockroaches return in the spring

unfair

there should be a law against having a gym and a chik-fil-a in the same plaza. i walk through the parking lot and all i can smell is heaven, also known as french fries. do not sap what little willpower i possess, aggressively-hyphenated fast food chain!

all y'all

i spent my first christmas here with two australians and buck the texan on the back patio of mcelroy's pub. it felt like any other day, really.

my little tree. can you spot the theme?

i figured i'd keep one tradition alive, which is cranberry scones on christmas morning.

a present from my family.

and finally, my favorite christmas song.

	Tom Waits - Christmas Card From A Hooker In Minneapolis
	Found at skreemr.com

how to start the day

i just got a fist bump from a little old man wearing a kangol hat and sunglasses. AWESOME.

use it in context

this morning i made a peanut butter and fluff sandwich (official state sandwich of massachusetts of course) to share with my australian friend michelle. she had never heard of this combination, whereas spaghetti between two slices of bread is normal.

it was glorious. it tasted like home. then as i left work tonight, it started to snow. i got confused. this is still texas, right?

this is not what i signed up for. yesterday it was 70; let's do that again. everyone is freaking out about the roads, which is hilarious to me, so i've decided to stay at home under my blanket and edit the following video. it's short (the rest of it shall remain shrouded in mystery), but it is a classic: andie being andie, dave complaining about massachusetts, mike being informative, shady 'yeeeeee'-ing in the background, and me just laughing.

over- lefts

my house has turned into a canine rest home. i dogsat over the weekend for two little old men; oliver looks like a baby wolf but is actually thirteen years old, and bentley is pretty much geriatric. they are just like that gay guy from boondock saints: they just want to cuddle. it made writing my statement of purpose a little more tolerable.

this scarf was a christmas present for my mom... two years ago. i just finished it... yesterday.

guess what's making a comeback? oh yes. the hamburger shirt. saved from the goodwill pile back in mass. i will wear it to torture dave.

in no particular order

i'm thankful for:

prosecco and blood orange juice, parents who would do anything for me including listen to me ramble about nonsense late at night, a sister who still laughs at my lame jokes, a boyfriend who supports me through all my craziness, mint chocolate chip ice cream, a hard drive full of good music and pictures and movies of people that make me smile when i'm down, route 9 between dalton and amherst, waking up after a late night out to get breakfast tacos, friends here and around the country, my work-in-progress apartment, live oaks, the security guard downstairs who wears a newsboy cap and always says 'gooood mornin!', and my down comforter.

the league of unfortunate names

today's "really? REALLY?" news is brought to you by the lesser simpson and guyliner's choice in baby names, bronx mowgli.

this is my announcement to bronx, all celebrity offspring in general*, children of hipster parents who mistakenly thought that, like trucker hats and PBR, picking a name like butch would be ironically cool, and tom thomson who gave a talk at baylor last week: i feel your pain. trust me. my parents too suffered a severe lapse in judgment. any situation that requires giving my last name followed by my first fills me with dread, because it usually ends in 'who's on first'-style 'hilarity'. oh ha.

so my unfortunately-named comrades, i propose we start a club. together we can overcome. or at least beat up the people who make comments. strength in numbers, you know.


*except frances bean; i kinda like that one.

my name is judge

mock trial!! where was this when i needed it? it has made my day.



i am feeling a bit under the weather. perk up, immune system, because tomorrow's Q Tip and the greek festival! i won't be able to eat a metric ton of spanokopita if i'm still perfecting my napping technique on the couch.

come on!

it took us a while as a lab to have our own reliable source of coffee. bob was kind enough to bring in his old but very fancy coffee maker, and then it was at least a month before we actually found a place to put it, got filters, etc. etc. so as of today we have used it exactly twice.

this morning we went to the break room to use it and it was gone. ok, excellent. we asked the front office, and they said they'd do a search. a half hour later they called to say they'd found it.

the entire coffee maker was IN THE DISHWASHER. not just the coffee pot. the whole thing, including the cord.

really? REALLY?

what frightens me is the high probability that whoever came up with this brilliant idea is down the hall mixing hazardous chemicals or using radioactivity. i'm not sure what makes me angrier: lack of coffee or lack of common sense.

the cherry on top of this sundae of idiocy is that after it was found in the wash, it was stolen. i just don't understand.

death of coffee maker + having the sanford & son themesong stuck in my head + leaving my umbrella on the bus = crabby

tactical usage

this is for mike:

(found here)

from, Third Wheel :)

songs from home

a brief history of the places i've lived, in a mixtape.

[mxpx - move to bremerton] i was born in bremerton, washington and lived there until my parents decided to return to the east coast. the only thing it really has going for it is the ferry that will take you to seattle.

[james taylor - sweet baby james] i don't care how old and bald he gets, i will always love james taylor. when i was little my mom would sing this song to me as i was going to sleep, and i especially loved the line about the turnpike from stockbridge to boston. honestly, hearing this makes me a little teary.

[the pixies - umass] i have one thing in common with joey santiago and black francis, and that is we all lived in the same shitty dorm in college. this song is good anyway, but the lyrics make it that much better. if only they mentioned sylvan.

[bun-b - city of the swang] featuring mike jones (MIKE JONES) and slim thug. are you tired of references to bun-b yet?

at last

eight years of voting, and i finally get a winner.

i'm very happy.

procrastination

i can only check facebook so many times. so now i've come to you, blogger.

math sucks. GRE math in particular. at least through practicing i've become aware of my tendency to read a question and blurt out 'what in the hell?', which is probably not something the exam proctors would really be thrilled about. this time tomorrow i will be rewarding myself with a pitcher of margaritas and i will not care.

this is for miss andrea, because it makes me laugh.

anniversary

as of this past monday, i have officially been in houston for an entire year. ta da. right now my brain feels like it's full of cotton balls, so the best thing i can do is make a list. screw paragraphs.

+ m.o.p. show was awesome. dave giving percee p the $7 he had in his wallet saying 'here you go, i know i've illegally downloaded your stuff' was a highlight.

+ then we met one half of m.o.p., who gave me a quote for my article and a hug. thank you dave.

+ but wait. i shook bun-b's hand. he was just standing there, so i walked up, swallowed my shyness and told him it was a good show last month, which seems to be a recurring theme.

+ it's finally cool enough to wear a scarf without looking like an idiot. that also means boots weather! (not the moon kind, don't worry. those are at home.)

- i hate asking for recommendation letters. especially from professors of classes that i took almost five years ago, because it makes me feel old.

- i don't have a halloween costume yet. i hate halloween for this very reason. one year when i was about 7 i couldn't think of anything to be, so i went trick-or-treating in regular clothes and my winter coat. i still got candy.

the best news team on television

"I can’t help but wonder if Dan Quayle is off someplace watching Sarah Palin interviews and thinking, 'Spell potatoes now, motherfuckers.'"
- ha HA. found here.

good god i can't wait for this election to be over, so i can go to sleep and dream of rainbows and unicorns instead of debates and the albino gaze of anderson cooper.

also: is Joe the Plumber's last name by any chance Sixpack?

keep austin hipster

i'm crabby*. partly because the GRE is coming up and michelle and i have been to almost every coffee shop inside the loop to study. and also partly because we went to austin this weekend. it was fine. i had a moderately good time. but because there are so many UT people around here constantly yammering about how cool and weird it is and how many awesome places there are to go to and oh man you'll just pee your pants it's so cool, that when i get there and i do not pee my pants from coolness, i feel let-down. and crabby.

the best remedy right now is this video. it never fails to entertain me. we're going to see them (m.o.p., not bert & ernie; though i might not say no to that either..) next week fo' freeeee.

*did anyone else read those books as a kid? i loved them.

yawn

i've decided i want a scooter. my frustration with public transportation has reached an all-time high (as evidenced by my constant scowl, and frequently checking my watch at the bus stop while muttering 'are you kidding me?') and this seems to be a logical solution. plus it would feel very italian, and i'm all for that. this morning i saw one ride by and i had to suppress the urge to spear-tackle the driver and Grand Theft Scooter myself to work.

so far the highlight of today has been a seminar on something i did not understand (free pizza, free reinforcement that i do not want a PhD in science). it was mostly 45 minutes of experiencing second-hand embarrassment for the speaker when he couldn't answer any questions that were asked. KIND OF LIKE WHAT THE DEBATE WILL BE TONIGHT! ZING!

today through my google reader i came across this photo:

david bowie, damien hirst, and julian schnabel, via new york magazine.

it just so happens i went to the museum of fine arts on sunday to catch their modern art exhibit that featured six pieces by hirst. i say 'pieces' not because i'm an art snob but because i don't know what else to call something that from a short distance looks like a black shag rug but is actually a giant canvas completely covered in dead flies. i also saw the big spin-art painting they're standing in front of there.

what makes this really appropriate though is that starman by david bowie just came on, from my special tuesday morning lab mix.

go away ike, tina ain't here

my (former) daily route.

up the street from dave.

no grilling in the house.

my backyard.

probably why i had no power.

GRE by candlelight.

it's over

ohhh but it's not. things turned out better than i ever expected, but it's going to be a while before life is back to normal. friday night my plan to drink enough wine to sleep through the storm next to a floor-to-ceiling window worked perfectly, and i only woke up when a tree fell down somewhere. in the morning dave's house was fine, my car was fine, and through some miracle we were the only ones in practically the whole city who had power. it then became a refugee camp for anyone who could find a way around the fallen trees and the flooding.

on sunday when i couldn't take being inside any longer, i made my way back to my apartment. thankfully there was no damage aside from a soggy kitchen, but i have no electricity. it's not coming back til next week. welcome to the club.

it's still really strange. without stoplights every intersection is a four-way stop. cars are lined up for blocks just to get in to a gas station. until yesterday, shepherd and memorial was a huge lake. the entire city has a curfew. a few restaurants are open; we had dinner at goode company and sat in the dark for a bit when the generator went out. people in line for ice threaten each other with tasers. and all that's nothing compared to galveston...

pictures to come eventually.

third time's the charm

yesterday morning i stopped at the grocery store to get something for our lab lunch. on the way in, i passed a guy who smiled at me and said 'good luck!' i had no idea what he was talking about. when i went to check out i waited for half an hour, surrounded by people with cases of bottled water and batteries, and i was the asshole with strawberry shortcake.

yesterday was more of an annoyance; today it's getting surreal. almost every gas station is empty, buildings are boarded up, and there's tape on all the windows. i'm camped out at dave's house, watching cnn, and trying not to get caught up in the hype. whatever happens, we'll be fine. it's not like we have anywhere else to go. and judging from the pantry, we have enough snacks to last us through nuclear winter. and also, entertainment.

so bring it, ike. i'm ready.

yes mom, i survived

the biker bar down the street from my house, where i 'weathered' the 'storm'.

a last remnant from my trip home

woodstar cafe, northampton

things are looking up

saturday was my first day of school: audio engineering at houston community college. i know it's only one class, but i'm excited.. being a nerd means i like having textbooks and homework. especially if that homework involves a recording studio. downside: the campus is out by the beltway, also known as Suburbia with a capital S and farther away from civilization than any self-respecting inner loop resident would want to go. upside: at least three of the faculty members in the music department have graduate degrees from rice, which happens to be where i'm sort of thinking of applying for a master's. me getting in to rice would be just below 'turning water into wine' on the miracle scale, but i suppose i can think about that later.

a picture i submitted to the houston center for photography was chosen for their next student exhibition. it's hard for me to believe that something i took will be on display for two months, AND be available for sale. though i highly doubt anyone will want a picture of the umass fine arts center in their living room (besides me).

we were about 10 feet away from bun-b wednesday night. it was a good time.

the first step on the road to assertiveness?

Unmentionables: cards to hand out when you're "too nice to tell jerks how you really feel". my favorites are "please don't procreate" and "can you repeat that? i was in a coma."

(if i were to make my own, i would start with "DON'T. DO THAT.")

a mix

top nine songs for a rainy monday at home while waiting for a locksmith to come fix the doors and eating macaroni & cheese:

mock trial with j reinhold

this is mah boyfrien':

he's the winning advocate of the south texas mock trial competition, and one of the best speakers. i'm so proud.

Miscellaneous Observations Monday

catchy, no?

tricky is doing his first north american tour in five years. will it include houston? of course not. same thing with wire. and they're so freakin old they'll probably end up in a rest home before they ever get around to any other city in texas that's not austin. what's worse is that i figured portishead would be touring as well since they just released an album, but there's no sign of that happening. so i can't even complain that they're not coming here.

what IS coming to houston, however, is more pink and orange. dunkin donuts is opening 10 more locations in the city. i could suggest a few places to start.. the empty building next to my bus stop (pleasepleaseplease), the vacant lot up the street, the lab across the hall...

yao ming slightly resembles sam the eagle from the muppets.

quote of the day is from louis armstrong: "All music is folk music, I ain’t never heard no horse sing a song.” (found here.)

i have to find a way to get a large dresser from the guild shop to my apartment tomorrow morning. this is the problem with having such a luxurious and earth-friendly vehicle a corolla. then the plan is to paint it, because i'm handy like that.

i convinced michelle to watch be kind rewind with me, and after all that hype... yawn.

i learned something today

it may be because my hair is so red it looks radioactive, or because today i happen to be wearing four-inch heels, or because i walk around seemingly unconcerned about the opinion of people nearby, but the general consensus is that i don't look like i'm from around here.

hurricane day!

no school! i mean, no work! gracias, edouard!

hey bill cosby

click here. unless you're andrea.

the week's calculations

number of...

establishments visited with my boss on friday night: 6
tattoo parlors visited with her before she got one: 2
hours at work before we convinced her to skip out and go to the movies: 3
voodoo dolls hung in the lab: 1
voodoo dolls taken down for fear of bad karma: 1
visits to central market: 2
times i sighed audibly in annoyance because of idiotic rich people at central market: 17

saw the Crying Men exhibit opening at the contemporary art museum. heard mice & rifles play at rudyard's, a band that employs both a steel guitar AND a banjo. i liked it; perhaps i'm becoming more texan.

i like this

by david billy, via swissmiss

where's summer b

the theme of last week's visit home was eating, drinking, and self-photo-taking.

(click for normal size)

in roughly the above order, i: celebrated my sister's 21st birthday at mission bar, went to herrell's, had east side pizza, went to judie's, went to faces, hiked the trail to bash bish falls, visited with my grandmother, stopped in great barrington, had more wine, and hung out with my sister (who i hadn't seen in eleven months).

it was a strange feeling to be back, sort of like phantom limb; familiar but still not quite right. (i'm just guessing at that, my appendages are all intact.)

but i'm really happy to be back in houston. i've had something going on every night this past week, and i like that. i also managed to go to ECT while i was home, which was equal parts really good and really hard, but helped me make the decision to take the GRE in october. so hooray for that. expect to start reading entries containing words like "inchoate" and "neologism".

controversy

back in slamherst, i spent a large amount of time in delano's. i also spent probably an equal amount of time discussing its proper pronunciation.

DELano's vs. delANo's. don't get me started.

now i think we have a similar situation: there's a bar not far from my house that i'm quite fond of. but is it mcELroy's or MACKelroy's? discuss.

home again

i am back. dave says massachusetts has made me mean and violent. (because i threatened to tackle him! sheesh.) i think it's just residual frustration from missing my connecting flight, getting on the next plane, buckling up, then being asked to get off. that or over-caffeination, because i really did go to dunkin donuts every day.

i know i talk about dunks a lot, but i never realized why until i thought about how integral to my life it was back home. for example:
- i broke up with my ex-boyfriend at the one on tyler street. (it wasn't an out-of-the-blue sort of thing, lest you think i am in fact that cruel. afterwards i didn't really like going there anymore.)
- there was a DD right across the street from the doctor's office where i worked in the summer, and sometimes coffee was the only thing propelling me through another afternoon of screaming into some elderly man's ear "what's your date of birth? your DATE OF BIRTH? yes, i am going to stick this needle in your arm."
- andie and i somehow managed to sneak coffee coolattas into the movie theater in our bags without making a mess.
- andie and i also spent every thursday morning there for a semester to recover from organic chem lab. and gossip.
- it was my first step towards becoming fluent in engrish. (working in science has now made that dream come true.)

there are a lot of pictures from my trip, but seeing as i just got home from the dentist and due to novocaine there are now a few striking similarities between me and an english bulldog, i'm going to save them for later.

good morning

dear Kellogg's Smart Start Healthy Heart,

how much healthier will my heart really be if i have to eat a double chocolate frosted donut after every bowl to get the soggy-wood-chips-disguised-as-bran-flakes taste out of my mouth?

sincerely,
brooke

hey it's july

today is a little better than most mondays, because long weekends sort of make me enjoy coming back to work, and also because on thursday i am flying back to the slightly-less-humid embrace of new england. one thing i especially like about traveling anywhere is making lists; stuff to do (hiking at bash bish falls, dunkin donuts coffee EVERY DAY), stuff to bring for the family (tortillas for morgan, beignet mix), stuff to bring home (red sox foam hand).

this weekend was very enjoyable. let me tell you why:

- the fourth of july party at the new townhouse was a success. i haven't seen that many jello shots since college.

- not to brag or anything, but there was a live band playing a special show in the dining room, complete with their own rendition of 'america, fuck yeah'. (maybe i'm bragging just a little.)

- under the direction of dj kid slyce, i spent a while manning the turntable. i'm getting better, but i still need my own so i can practice. and i apologize to anyone who had to hear 'draped up and dripped out' approximately four times in the course of the night.

- saturday dave took me out for dinner at nelore, a brazilian restaurant where the waiters bring different kinds of meat to your table on swords. clearly it was awesome, and afterwards i fell into a coma i was so full.

sidenote: the previous entry was not meant to imply that i'm now dressing in the standard b-boy style (to use the parlance of our time), however much i'd like to be a dj. i've been getting a bit more.. attention lately at work, and sometimes an enormous t-shirt seems like the best way to avoid it. maybe i should karate chop people instead.

that's it.

from now on i'm only wearing XXXL hoodies and baggy jeans.

'who-serves-yogurt-at-their-wedding good'

feeling uninspired.. this, however, is hilarious. i hate those yoplait commercials so much i have to change the channel if one comes on.

really? really?

my PI just handed me a flyer for DecapiCones®.


"plastic film tubes provide quick and easy restraint of rats, mice and other small animals...DecapiCones® restrain post-decapitation kicking and prevent personal contact with feces and urine."

or alternatively, Mouse-icles! just freeze and enjoy!

champions

here's your winning cheeseburger, paul pierce.

seriously though, i was glad i got to watch the celtics in person this year. (breaking the rockets' winning streak was a bonus.) too bad no one is at umass right now to jump off the DC or throw things from the high-rises.

i am not rachael ray

ever since i discovered frozen yogurt at Berripop, there has been a constant flow of cash from my wallet to their register. in an effort to stop this madness, i tried to make my own. because it can't be hard, right? FALSE. when my parents came they brought me a mini ice cream maker (possibly the most bourgeois kitchen item ever) they found in the basement. and despite multiple attempts i just can't get it right.. it's edible, but it's not the same. so frozen yogurt gets added to the list of disappointments, and my gym schedule once again revolves around Berripop's closing time.

a few culinary miracles have occurred, when things taste just like they're supposed to, although they happen to be sort of random. so if i ever have a dinner party, expect crab cakes, pierogies, and linzer torte to be on the menu.

so this is life after school

there have been so many ways to occupy my leisure time (that's pronounced 'lezzure') that i haven't been able to stop and pay attention to all the thoughts floating in my head. which is why i am currently sitting in a cafe in rice village drinking sangria and trying to sift through concerts, movies, books i want to read.. for example, next friday the shining is playing at river oaks, and then saturday is lebowski bash. priority definitely goes to the latter.

two weeks ago i went to galveston and swam in the gulf. that in itself was an achievement because on my list of things i fear, getting caught in the undertow is just below being stolen. i also came back with a truly spectacular sunburn. the desquamation process is almost done (from the latin for 'your skin is falling off') and i am now not so lobster-esque. anyway, we built sand castles wonders of the ancient world.

a sphinx and a pyramid. it's almost like being in egypt.

i also had my first successful screenprint. it's not perfect, but i'll take what i can get. i am modeling for my future catalog, in case i leave science to start a t-shirt business. hey, what's over there?

i highly recommend checking out the speech accent archive if you're like me and are easily entertained, or if you've ever wondered what the difference is between a new yorker and a bostonian. the one from beaumont, tx is very similar to what you might hear around houston and in my opinion is a cool-sounding/non-obnoxious southern drawl.

possibility

my raw score

i'm thinking of giving this to dave to fill out. i figure we've been dating for over a year, this can be my annual performance review.

how will i do?
- doesn't like children: wow, minus 5 points isn't a good way to start off. (speaking of, should we have sent Crazy a mother's day card? ha.)
- goes to bed with curlers: actually, more like raccoon eyes. mascara eventually makes me look like i've been punched in the face.
- puts her cold feet on husband to warm them: it's like they know me!

hmm, not so good. on to the pluses:
+ has meals on time: wrong again! this will never ever happen.
+ can play a musical instrument: i knew ten years of lessons would come in handy for something.
+ jolly and gay: totally me. especially in the morning.

i can't wait to see my final score! good thing stuff like this exists or i would never know how i measure up as a girlfriend.