projects

guess who that's for..

a few observations

it's so hot that the candles on my dining table melted a little and fell out of their holders.

my mom sent me a huge package that included a monkey vegetable peeler.

i suck at wiffle ball. it's still fun though.

i hate to agree with pitchfork, but the new nick cave & the bad seeds album is really good.

outer loop crosstown

it's about time for another Bus Story, no? well, last week i was waiting by myself at the stop outside baylor when the medical center shuttle came by. i ignored it, because it only makes a loop around the whole area to stop at all the different hospitals, which is of no use to me if i'm going home. then i realized the driver had opened the door and was gesturing for me to get on. suspiciously, there was no one else on the bus. an approximation of what happened:

me: no thanks, i'm waiting for the 27.
driver: (arm waving/unintelligible speech)
me: (pointing to imaginary bus behind him) i'm waiting for the 27!
driver: (more smiling and gesturing)
me: I AM NOT GETTING ON YOUR BUS.

after a few minutes of this he finally shrugged and closed the door, like "your loss, i was going to put on some R&B, and take a romantic scenic drive around the med center, and we can get to know each other, and after i'll dump your body in the bayou". (i have a deep-seated fear of being stolen. this was instilled in me at an early age, and only made worse the time andie and i saw Hostel right before our trip to europe. she was convinced we would be sold into sex slavery.)

this has happened three times. even pretending to read a book does not dissuade him. yesterday i'm pretty sure he said "maybe next time" before he drove away. no, guy, there will never be a 'next time' when i want to take a bus ride to someplace that is NOT MY DESTINATION.

il papa

my sister is bringing me back something from assisi, italy that she describes as "slightly bizarre and almost creepy, but hopefully funny in light of where it came from". i have no guesses, but i'm looking forward to seeing whatever it is. she was also kind enough to get me a pope keychain on her first trip, which i am currently using although it is a little heavy. (with HOLINESS.) that was the next best thing to getting a pope hat. i found that the religious stores in vatican city don't really take kindly to the idea of a non-member of the clergy buying a pope hat. you have to have proper ID, and trust me, telling them you just really like the style is not going to change their mind.

it's too bad. it totally would have gone with everything.

the tourist traps

asking the lead singer of black rebel motorcycle club for advice on band names is sort of like asking helen keller to paint your portrait. but that's what we did the other night. well, mani did because he's the one with the nameless band. i just told him it was a good show and then suffered from a severe case of second-hand embarrassment* when another person in our group decided to bring up radiohead. that was our cue to leave.

could someone do a scientific study on why guitar players are so attractive? seriously. i would help but unfortunately i'm susceptible to the phenomenon myself, and i can't collect data when i'm swooning.


*this term refers to feeling embarrassed on behalf of someone else who is doing something foolish. it's the reason why i avoid watching american idol, or any high school talent show.

old hag

this weekend a few of my favorite people and i welcomed another year of my existence with mojitos and the world's longest dinner at la strada. on my actual birthday i got the greatest talking card from andrea and mike, and a phone call from my sister in sicily. that warmed the lump of coal that is my heart a bit.

so far 26 has been fine, with the exception of a little frostbite i recently suffered after a brief but expletive-riddled battle with some boxes in the -80 freezer. i really should have been wearing the big muppetish gloves we have for extreme temperatures, such as these:

they would have been nice to have back home during the winter, particularly because they're some of the only gloves large enough to fit my jack the pumpkin king fingers. ah but all that's in the past, because winter doesn't exist here. and now it's getting to be summer, which i know because it was 90 degrees last week, so most places have switched their AC setting from 'stun' to 'cryogenic'.

anyway, i'm going to cling desperately to this last year of my mid-20's, because everyone knows that late 20's is only a step away from your 30's, and after that you're pretty much just staring into your grave. according to mike, at least.

then can we deport her too?

houston, this is not helping your reputation.

good one!

fashion police

today's list concerns fashion crimes i've seen perpetrated too often lately. i admit it: i'm certainly not the most stylish person. i wore stirrup pants in middle school; it haunts me to this day. for a long time my basic personal style could be summed up as "not naked". but lately i've tried to go against standard lab attire (jeans and t-shirts); i have a closet full of "nice" clothes that otherwise wouldn't get worn, and the chances of me spilling acid on myself aren't that great either, so why not? that's what the white coat is for (besides keeping me warm). ANYWAY, the following are a few trends that have been driving me crazy.

formal shorts

bah! awful! as much as i love gwen stefani, those are glorified granny panties. (both images from gofugyourself)

onesies

very similar to the above. and not just limited to celebrities, i saw a girl at a bar in midtown wearing one not long ago. didn't we learn our lesson in the 90's with leotards? are we bringing back trends based on clothing we wore as children? if so, i have an idea for some formal footie pajamas. (photo from urban outfitters)

shirts as dresses

clearly too many girls are confused about what constitutes a dress. it's not a problem wearing a short dress over pants, but alone? in times of uncertainty, here's a handy checklist:
1. is it alarmingly easy to sit on the toilet, without moving any fabric?
2. does sitting normally make you feel like something's missing, like a speculum and stirrups?
3. will photos of you performing any action besides standing require the addition of strategically placed colored dots?
if the answer to any of these is 'yes', then ding ding ding! you're wearing a shirt! thanks for playing. (photo from daddylikey)

orange pants
ok, i don't have anything against these per se. i like brightly colored anything, really. but what puzzles me is that i've seen a girl that works down the hall from me wear the same pair of orange pants every day for a week. i'm guessing she's a grad student, and that means she has far more important things to be worrying about than what she wears. but if it were me (in which case i would probably be found in scrubs every day) i might not choose something so.. memorable as orange. it kind of lets everyone know "yep, it's laundry week!"

empire waists
again, i don't mind these so much, it's just that i'm tired of them. on a lot of girls they're flattering. on me, i look a. stumpy and b. young. and we've already established that i appear childlike enough as it is. i have hips; when can those come back?

if you've read this far, you deserve a cookie.

ceci n'est pas une pipe

happy birthday to my oldest friend (and i mean chronologically, not age-wise) juliana b! knowing someone since 3rd grade gives you a lot of opportunities for inside jokes.

we suffered through calculus, riding the bus, and various musical events together. we vandalized the school practice room piano together. if i were back in massachusetts we would celebrate by going to friendly's and ordering the same thing we've been getting for the last ten years. oh man we're old.

today i went to a beginning photography class. now when i post pictures YOU can be the judge of its usefulness! basically i came away with the knowledge that i need a new camera. don't worry, i wore my black turtleneck and beret.

afterwards i wandered around the menil collection. i don't really know much about art, especially when it comes to modern stuff, but i do like looking at things from time to time. (i also like commenting on it mystery science theater-style, like when dave and i went to the legion of honor in san francisco.) saw some picasso, some magritte, and a few other bizarre items. tried out the new picture-taking skillz.

i'm unimpressed. anyway, i'm out for the midnight showing of young frankenstein at river oaks. i've seen it a bunch of times already but never on the big screen. hilarious.