a socio-anthropological analysis of small-town iowa

• the flight in was fine, aside from a crazy stewardess and the people in front of us being escorted off by police.  as for the flight back.. i don't want to talk about it.
• half of the population is extremely nice.  the other half seems to be well-versed in the 'we don't take kindly ta yer kind' slow turn and stare.
• dude.  the drinks are so cheap.  a round of four gin & tonics came to $8.  after frequenting places like anvil here in houston my brain can't comprehend that kind of math.  also, we played ping pong in a bar that was previously a meat locker.
  
• fun fact: i don't ever match my socks.  (i can't be bothered.)  this became painfully apparent and a frequent topic of conversation for the ENTIRE family when we arrived and were instructed to take our shoes off in the house because of the new carpet.  GOOD ONE.
  
• there is a blarney stone in the town square.  here's hoping for good luck.
  

 

i will guarantee you that within 24 hours, the entire town knew that there was some crazy tourist chick out taking pictures on main street.

• most of the businesses are two-in-one.  for example, there's the motel/laundromat and a coffee shop that also does furniture restoration and sells wood carving tools.  perhaps not the best idea to be whittling while you have the caffeine shakes?
• my first ever black friday shopping experience took place at true value hardware.
• the accent is very slight.  disappointment!
• sean's dad built an exact replica of the little house on the prairie in their backyard.   it's impressive. 

oven-mitt hot

i can't decide if this is hilarious or unsettling.  i'm going to go with: both.  give it a ponder.

a mixtape

crescent roll day

this year i was invited to thanksgiving at someone's house.  'great', i thought.  'no stress, i don't have to cook.'


except as it turns out, that someone's house happens to be in Iowa.  so i'm replacing the stress of 'gee, is the green bean casserole done?' with 'hey, we're flying a tiny Buddy Holly-killing plane into the frozen tundra'.  don't get me wrong, i'm excited because i've never been to the midwest and my only frame of reference for Iowa is Footloose mixed with the accent from Fargo.

[i know for a fact the minute i hear someone say 'oh yah!' or 'you betcha' i will lose my shit.  not good when Meeting The Family.]

but i will be much happier once i'm standing on the ground in Des Moines.  happier, and most likely drunk.  did you know that it's not illegal to take alcohol in your carry-on? oh hello, 3 ounce bottles of Bombay Sapphire.

may everyone travel safely and have plenty of crescent rolls.

lab astronaut

my boss just paid me ten dollars to make her chocolate chip cookies.  i think i like this new responsibility.




(they were very tasty.)

yes

dean martin & shirley maclaine

ciao

on this lovely afternoon i am skipping out of work to look at a new apartment.  the thought of moving isn't terribly thrilling, but it might be nice for a change of scenery.  and being a block from rudyard's wouldn't be bad.

my morning commute, in smells

rye toast, car exhaust, cut grass, elephant manure*, skunk, stagnant water, cut grass, cigarettes, cheap cologne, chemicals, gasoline, bacterial broth, coffee.



*although i am prone to exaggeration, this is actually true; i park at the zoo and the back of the elephant pens are right along the sidewalk towards the med center. can't see them but sometimes i hear them.

victory

not bad, n'est pas?

i got high fives, an 'outstanding' from buck, and a set of martini glasses for winning Most Creative in the mcelroy's costume contest. credit is really due to sean, though, for making the flag and ears for me at the last minute.

and sing songs by diana ross

a letter to sid vicious after he was arrested for killing his girlfriend, found here.