waterboarding isn't always bad

yesterday, i saw my first cockroach. i was about to leisurely wash some dishes in the kitchen sink at dave's apartment when it appeared. after considering my options (my initial plan was threefold: scream, flail, and run away) i decided to take an enormous wad of paper towels and guide him to his death via the drain.

once he was down there i let the water run for what seemed like a while, but when i turned it off he just crawled right back out like he'd been relaxing in the jacuzzi. so i tried again. mission accomplished. he finally succumbed to his fate and disappeared down the drain so i didn't even have to deal with the remains.

to sum up, yes, i can be a wuss. in other, only slightly less terrifying news, i'm presenting at lab meeting in three days. i think i'd prefer bugs over talking about my work to a roomful of MD/PhD's.

[ed. note: the presence of the cockroach in no way reflects the cleanliness of dave's apartment. he is quite tidy in fact. however i still maintain that only one dish in the sink was mine at the time of the incident.]

no more karaoke bars

one more in a list of reasons why i am boycotting christian's tailgate until further notice:

because FORTY EIGHT HOURS LATER i suddenly find myself humming nickelback. NOT OK.

coming attractions

i haven't really been excited about a new movie in a while, mostly because i haven't been paying attention. (except for maybe Be Kind Rewind, and i didn't even see it.) today i came across a couple that could be interesting.. though probably not enough to propel me to a theater. i'm still getting over the waste of two hours that was I'm Not There.

- The Tracey Fragments, featuring the new miss thing, ellen page from Juno, but more importantly, a soundtrack by broken social scene. even if the movie sucks i'd be happy just to have new music from them. it also has all the other makings of an arty hipster classic: weird splitscreen shots, an unintelligible plot, dramatic yelling. so it may be a renter. sometimes i have a low tolerance for such things.

- Chapter 27. i only watched the trailer for this because the picture made it look like it starred jared leto as the sta-puf marshmallow man. (apparently he gained 60 pounds for the role. i smell an oscar! and chili cheese fries!) turns out he plays the guy who shot john lennon, and he thinks he's writing the next chapter of the catcher in the rye. (27, as it happens.) seeing as i don't really like the beatles OR holden caulfield i think i'll sit this one out and instead watch my so-called life and remember a time before 30 seconds to mars when the world made sense.

in a similar vein, scarlett johansson is releasing an album of tom waits covers. if it's anything like her singing at coachella last year.. do not want.

signs that my neighbor is gay

(not that i have a problem with it. just saying. this is montrose after all.)

- shortly after moving in, he put a bench on the landing between our doors. a bench in a place where i don't think anyone will ever sit. so a decorative bench, if you will.

- around christmas, there appeared a decorative pillow on this bench. please keep in mind that a. both items serve no purpose and b. he is a male.

- he has a potted plant on the back stairs, in a special vase thingy, with a special vase holder thingy.

- he sings. loudly. to broadway showtunes and janet jackson.

what baffles me is that he has a bowl cut. i thought that anyone who exerted the mental energy required to see a decorative bench and think "this would be perfect for the small space in front of my door!" would also have the capacity to recognize an ugly haircut.

smell ya later

nothing really new here, just complaining that this cold won't go away. whenever anyone's around i have my hand up to my face to hide my cro-magnon-like mouth-breathing. and whenever i'm alone i have a kleenex jammed in my nose because i'm tired of constantly wiping it. so why not just keep it there?

'what's your style? nemo?'

bah, i'm sick. and when i'm sick, i'm whiny. perhaps whiny enough that if i were wearing my studded belt, you might mistake me for an emo kid. but that would be dangerous being so close to mexico, because according to this, there are emo hunts underway. basically non-emo mexicans are saying 'we don't take kindly ta yer kind 'round here'. but, you know, in spanish. and in case you were wondering how to say 'emo' in spanish, it's 'emo'. you're welcome.

ten days is a long time

the parental unit is arriving tonight. i'm looking forward to it, i kinda like playing tour guide, even though i'm not terribly knowledgeable. and i've already mentally prepared myself for the comments that are sure to come from my mother, such as "how can you see with your hair in your eyes?", "sit up straight, you're all hunched over", and the perennial favorite, "you look like inspector gadget in that trench coat".

i can only imagine what she'll say about my apartment. that's why i have a bottle of wine on hand.

i also pray that she does not go america all over everyone's asses when i take her to Fiesta!

put a potato on a string and drag it through south boston

only in lab would i get an email with the subject 'diaper fire in microwave'.

you know what makes me feel old? buying girl scout cookies. once i was past the age of actually selling cookies myself (yeah, i was a brownie..) my parents would usually buy a box for every family member from a coworker's kids or something. then last month when my coworker asked me if i wanted any it hit me that i have truly reached adulthood. now i can buy cookies for me and my kids more for me.

in traversing the internets, i came across this: tummy tuck jeans™. (not that i was looking for such things, but if my current thin mint intake continues the way it's been going, they may be on the horizon.)their slogan is 'camel toe, or your money back'.

anyway, happy saint patrick's day. i was going to make this but SOMEONE doesn't like stew. (i tease.. he eats all my failed culinary experiments without complaint, for which i am very grateful.) if i recall, last year on this day i walked home in the snow and chased mister michael around main street after he 'ran away'. here is a joke for you, and i can say this because i am 75% irish.
q: what is the irish catholic method of birth control?
a: prayer.

ten gallon hat

thanks to mani for telling people i'm from massachusetts, because it got me many a picture taken with various rodeo-goers. against my will, i should add. i did not see any actual bull riding or cattle roping or things of that sort, but free unlimited barbecue and shiner (my new favorite beer - sorry, sam) is still good enough for me.

there was also this exchange:
me: is that guy cutting the brisket with an electric knife?
dave: ...that's a prosthetic hand.

we finished the evening with fried oreos, mani's assertion that texas is in fact the greatest state in the country, and getting (almost) everyone on the longest train ride of my life to yell "texas.. fight!" all the way home.

slacker

here's the part of my blog where i should be writing about my experience at the rodeo. instead, here's a picture of pan-kun and james.

if you are ever in need of cheering up, search for them on youtube. a real post is coming soon.